Red Cardinals

This past November, we lost my eldest sister, Annalyse at 32-years old. This poem attempts to capture her essence as she is deeply missed.

R.D. Boucher
3 min readNov 19, 2023
Annalyse in her two favorite places, among her beloved palms and on the New Jersey seashore in a tropical storm, R.D. Boucher, 2019, CC-BY-NC-ND.

Red headed goddess dances along the beach

she smiles and laughs, an image within my dreams

I miss you so, and dear, I know that you are loved

In every state you are, people will come in droves

Your love touched every soul you met,

and will last on in all those you helped,

While at times, I cannot comprehend

where you are right now

I hope you are still smiling,

as you always did on land

It is this image of you

that I will always hold,

and when I cry at night,

I try to picture you as so

forever within my mind

in the moments that we shared,

your freckled skin in sunshine,

your sharp blue eyes in rain,

your red hair in the morning,

curly and untamed,

your hoarse laugh always calming,

as a reminder everything is okay

even when I fear my fuck-ups

are cemented in the grain

your forgiveness is unmatched

a statement to open your arms

to even those that say they’ll never change

It was always you I turned to

when my dough refused to rise,

and the person that I called

to diagnose my plant’s blight

Now when I feel the urge,

I cannot comprehend

how else to address these things

when I cannot call my first friend

you were the one to show me

the beauty of the outdoors,

and the first to teach me

to laugh at horror films,

I always thought that we would have

fifty more years of our games,

and never did I think

things would never be the same

to send you on your way

covered with sunflowers

in an open boat to flames

I can only hope

that you didn’t feel pain

There is a semblance of peace

with you just falling asleep,

But my brain refuses to accept

that you no longer walk these streets

I still sense you in these halls

I can hear you in my sleep

I see you in reflections,

sudden images fleeting past

in the eyes across from me,

manifesting you beside us,

memories all around,

reminders of our lives

and all the years we shared abound

sister, sister day and night

for eighteen years,

until we carried on our days

in places far and wide,

making lemons into lemonade,

to go the extra mile

in each dream we wished to be

Though, I wish I saw you sooner,

and wish the last was not the last time

An angel now sits above,

Many dreams within your grasp,

and I know that you can fly,

when with the morning sun,

a red cardinal sings beautifully

When many times you wished

that you could travel far from New Jersey

You now have wings that can take you

wherever you wish to go

and though I feared that you are alone,

our past loved ones are guiding you,

which is why there are always

two red cardinals sitting on my windowsill,

and we may all rest assured,

that you will always have company

and your singing may always be heard.

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R.D. Boucher

Writer. Scientist. Womanist. Trail Runner. Backpacker. Rock Climber. Ph.D. in Biological Anthropology. Women's Health Researcher & Isotope Geochemist.