Red Cardinals
This past November, we lost my eldest sister, Annalyse at 32-years old. This poem attempts to capture her essence as she is deeply missed.
Red headed goddess dances along the beach
she smiles and laughs, an image within my dreams
I miss you so, and dear, I know that you are loved
In every state you are, people will come in droves
Your love touched every soul you met,
and will last on in all those you helped,
While at times, I cannot comprehend
where you are right now
I hope you are still smiling,
as you always did on land
It is this image of you
that I will always hold,
and when I cry at night,
I try to picture you as so
forever within my mind
in the moments that we shared,
your freckled skin in sunshine,
your sharp blue eyes in rain,
your red hair in the morning,
curly and untamed,
your hoarse laugh always calming,
as a reminder everything is okay
even when I fear my fuck-ups
are cemented in the grain
your forgiveness is unmatched
a statement to open your arms
to even those that say they’ll never change
It was always you I turned to
when my dough refused to rise,
and the person that I called
to diagnose my plant’s blight
Now when I feel the urge,
I cannot comprehend
how else to address these things
when I cannot call my first friend
you were the one to show me
the beauty of the outdoors,
and the first to teach me
to laugh at horror films,
I always thought that we would have
fifty more years of our games,
and never did I think
things would never be the same
to send you on your way
covered with sunflowers
in an open boat to flames
I can only hope
that you didn’t feel pain
There is a semblance of peace
with you just falling asleep,
But my brain refuses to accept
that you no longer walk these streets
I still sense you in these halls
I can hear you in my sleep
I see you in reflections,
sudden images fleeting past
in the eyes across from me,
manifesting you beside us,
memories all around,
reminders of our lives
and all the years we shared abound
sister, sister day and night
for eighteen years,
until we carried on our days
in places far and wide,
making lemons into lemonade,
to go the extra mile
in each dream we wished to be
Though, I wish I saw you sooner,
and wish the last was not the last time
An angel now sits above,
Many dreams within your grasp,
and I know that you can fly,
when with the morning sun,
a red cardinal sings beautifully
When many times you wished
that you could travel far from New Jersey
You now have wings that can take you
wherever you wish to go
and though I feared that you are alone,
our past loved ones are guiding you,
which is why there are always
two red cardinals sitting on my windowsill,
and we may all rest assured,
that you will always have company
and your singing may always be heard.
