Within the Walls
When you have just moved and a mass quarantine from the Covid-19 pandemic is in effect, life can seem dim. This poem addresses the depression experienced during that period.
Sadness is an emotion that doesn’t shrink
Rarely shirks or hides from its observer,
It only grows the more you notice it.
A great story starts with a hook and line,
words can flow easy, but they don’t quite sink you like the darkness that descends from sadness
I’m alone, but I wouldn’t call myself lonely
It’s the absence of potential
The disinterest in seeking it
that pulls me inwards,
A great week with all its facets
Can be plummeted by a moment,
A simple moment
of rejection.
The person who undoes you
might not know their power,
You never show them,
it only seethes within you,
Escaping once you’re free from sight,
Safe within the confines,
Of your small room
in that small beach bungalow,
on a dead end street off a highway
It reaches its hands upwards,
like lake weeds in water,
tangling you within them,
and pulling you below
Sinking within the dark depths
of that cold, writhing sea
It shows no discretion,
pulling whoever looks within —
This is sadness.
It’s how it takes hold of me,
Despite the most jovial of days,
It embodies me, because I’m tired,
Mentally fatigued by this world,
By the lack of normality,
Absence of socialization,
Eye contact from strangers,
People walk, transfixed by their screens,
Enamored by their virtual worlds —
We are all escaping from the reality,
Running from the quarantine that is just beyond our sights,
We are all afraid to be human,
To be with each other, because being with each other is how it spreads.
If you are in a relationship, you are among one that you might love,
Sometimes, this image of love shatters
when you’re left without distractions,
when you’re confined to your one-bedroom apartment in a crowded city
it’s in the air that you breath, that stale air
That’s circulating throughout the building,
Combining everyone into one synchronous breath.
Outside is safe. Outside is safe. Outside is safe.
The only mantra that keeps me sane,
The only words that remind me
to return to where we originated,
To forsake four walls and a roof,
To keep my body occupied
by moving and circulating,
So my brain won’t catch up.
Inhale and exhale,
Inhale and exhale,
Inhale the fresh air, and remember,
this is what it means to breathe.
